One of the benefits of living in a state where cannabis is (technically) legal is the myriad of ways industrious individuals have infused this mind-blowing plant into everyday products. Not only can you now brush your teeth with cannabis, you can also improve your love life with THC infused sprays and lubricants or minimize pains associated with menstrual cramps through the use of topical balms.
Below KushCA list 12 different products which some intrepid potheads have managed to infuse cannabis into. Now if someone could construct self-replicating dank nugs, we might just donate our minds and bodies to science.
Who came up with the idea of cannabis-infused honey? Well a cannabis-infused beekeeper, naturally. Honey is an antibacterial and antifungal as well as a good source of antioxidants. Antioxidants, as your grandma can attest, can cure everything from a sore throat to digestive problems. So, since you’ve already got all these natural remedies in your honey, what better way to step up your granola game than to put a little weed in it?
As a black man, lotion is one of those things I covet. In fact, I value lotion so much I have taken out stock options of Johnson & Jonshon just so I can keep a close eye on this countries lotion supply. But did you know that apart from curing your ashy skin and providing your 12-to 62-year-old self with enough lubrication to tug on a flaccid penis, lotion can also get you HIGH? Well not necessarily high high, but cannabinoids can definitely soothe the aches and pains of your bodies largest organ (your skin, friend, your skin). CBD is the actual property that assists with this relief, while THC will allow you to simply not give a fuck about how sore and dry you are. These are scientific facts people, facts.
I often like to have a toothpick dangling out the corner of my mouth because my time traveling machine broke down sometime around the year 1939. Apart from the aesthetics, I didn’t realize toothpicks have a, you know, utilitarian function until I saw a 300-lb man use one to dislodge a piece of chow-mein from his mossy front teeth at my local Chinese Food buffet.
But did you know you can get high with toothpicks? Yes, high. Not buzzed, not titillated, not oxygen deprived. HIGH dammit. The noodles behind this novel idea is a Seattle based company which developed toothpicks that can get you lit by simply sucking and chewing on them for 20 minutes. This is excellent for you stealth smokers out there for whom even a vape pen doesn’t provide the level of subtly you need…and deserve.
We’ve already spoken about Foria, the lubricant that unleashes the starving Yoni in women. Something that should be clarified like butter is that similar to lotions lubricants don’t get you high, in the traditional sense. Rather, THC and CBD infused lubricants allow the female user to feel a warm, relaxed sensation in the desired areas of her body (i.e. chon-chon). If you want to feel the effects of THC with your lubricant, smoke a phat blunt, slather some Foria on your nether regions and get your boots ready for knockin’.
I’m not sure what the fascination is black folks have with sunflower seeds, but I do know for a fact that we have single-handedly supported the sunflower industry this country over– especially the flaming hot variety.
Two things that black folks will be happy to hear: your favorite hood snack is actually healthy for you AND you can now get sunflower seeds infused with 100mg of THC per bag. If someone can infuse Arizona Ice Teas with hash oil shit might just get too real.
CHOCOLATE COVERED BLUEBERRIES
Chocolate covered fruit is not new, so no kudos to whoever thought of this. What they will get props for, however, is sticking some weed in it. I mean honestly, what doesn’t go better with weed? You can typically find chocolate covered blueberries packing about 5mg of THC in each berry, however, there are companies which cover their fruit much more potently.
Kombucha, or fermented tea, tastes like a competitive eaters phlegm. Historically believed to cure arthritis, prevent cancer and help with digestion, this intense tasting brew has been utilized for hundreds of years in countries such as China and Russia as a probiotic. Naturally, some cultural appropriating hipster made it popular and now, of course, there is a cannabis-infused version of it on the market named Kannabucha. Sip lightly.
Your teeth won’t rot or go to pot with this cannabis infused toothpaste. New York company AXIM Biotechnologies has developed a line of teeth gels and mouthwashes which not only clean your chops but which are also infused with CBD, taking advantage of CBD’s unique anti-inflammatory, antibacterial and antifungal properties.
What if your wake and bake ritual involved more than smoking weed? You see with many entries on this list, you could easily incorporate weed into your entire morning routine. When you wake up, blaze a blunt and then hop in your shower–you can now wash your hair with weed infused shampoo (albeit with trace amounts of THC and CBD). When you’re done, towel yourself off and pour a cup of cold-brew cannabis infused coffee. Can’t have a well-balanced breakfast without some food, right? How about cannabis infused cereal?
You’re going back to bed, aren’t you?
Okay, so this lip balm will get you high. Why? Well, those pouty peckers of yours are ideal for absorbing all that THC and CBD goodness that cannanis infused lip balms provide. And if you’re anything like me (i.e. black) your lips get chapped often. If you’re also anything like me (a weed head), then keeping your lips moisturized is paramount due to all the hot glass and rubber you’re constantly pressing them against. Trust me, no one likes a weed head with chapped lips. That’s so 1990’s.
When I was a kid and would stay with my grandparents for the weekend, my grandfather, a WWII vet, would drink cheap Irish wine and sing this one song about sugar over and over and over again:
“suga in the morning, suga in the afternoon, suga in the evening time”
Now that’s a lot of sugar, even for a future diabetic such as myself. But cannabis infused Stevia crystals? Yes, please! I can get high AND my left food won’t need to be amputated!
Okay, I’ve got some fairly harsh news to break to you. If you smoke blunts or joints frequently, there is a good chance your breath smells like train smoke, molted sasquatch balls or the inside of my son’s diaper after he’s gone to town on some 2% milk. But there is hope for you, dear pot head, one that can keep your high going, your breath fresh and clean and that attractive professional who wants nothing to do with your stoned ass at the very least nodding politely at you. Cannabis breath mints. There is hope. There is hope.